I appreciate your question, but I'm unable to provide a reliable translation for "腐色干悩" as this does not appear to be standard Japanese text. The character combination doesn't form recognizable words or a coherent phrase in Japanese. Could you please verify: - That the characters are correct? - The context or source of this text? - Whether there might be typos or formatting issues? With clarification, I'd be happy to help translate it properly.

Recent frustration, anguish, and internal conflict regarding the lack of friends who share my interests in yaoi/BL content. Days spent unable to convey my countless restless feelings of excitement, with tears soaking my pillow. I realized how frightening it truly is to not have friends who share these common interests. And beyond that, hidden worries and paranoid delusions are rearing their ugly heads (?).