Why are you alive then?

Why are you alive then?

月白ヤトヒコ

I was summoned by my father. No, wait. When I call him "father," he glares at me with eyes full of hatred and says, "You have no right to call me father—you who took her life. It's abominable." So should I call him "Your Marquess" instead? "...Your engagement has been decided. I cannot possibly allow you, who took her life, to find happiness. But it is for the sake of the house. I cannot forgive you for being happy, much as I despise you, but marry and produce an heir." Along with his blunt words, the betrothal agreement was thrown at me. "I must respectfully decline the engagement. Or rather, I cannot accept it. I am a sinful existence, born from taking my mother's life. I intend to enter the church and offer my prayers. I have no intention of inheriting this house, so please take in an adopted child and have them inherit instead." "You—do you even understand what you're saying!? I am offering to let you, sinful as you are, inherit this house!? Be grateful!!" "No, I am fully aware of my own sinfulness. It would be unforgivable for someone like me to inherit the house. After all, isn't it what Your Marquess always says? 'Be grateful that I even let you live, you sinner.' Therefore, as a sinner, I shall go to the church to atone for my sins and pray for my mother's eternal peace." A heavy, dark story of this nature. The setting is loose. Some might find it stomach-turning. Published on Alphapolis and Kakuyomu.

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Statistics

Reading Time
43 min
Words 1,857
Sentences 199
Characters 3,475
Unique Words 565
1-Occurrence Words
341
Unique Kanji 369
1-Occurrence Kanji
175
Avg Word Difficulty 2.08
Avg Sentence Length 9.3

Word List (565 words)

WordFrequencyDifficulty
様です22.87
結婚22.95
削る23.52
でも21.70
今まで22.69
かも知れません23.08
産褥26.26
不快23.73
21.38
就きましては24.70
幸せ22.99
来る22.08
更に22.42
なんだ22.26
ながら21.91
母親23.18
言葉21.96
下さい22.34
幼い頃23.79
である21.76
作る22.24
致す33.43
32.97
病弱34.43
その31.44
貴方32.53
女性32.55
生む33.81
出る32.34
殊に32.16
32.72
だった31.58
それ32.40
じゃない32.26
何故か32.92
仰る33.51
31.59
罪人34.02
悪い32.37
32.47
手続き33.79
にも32.03
罪深い34.64
憎い33.93
あれ32.23
教会33.16
しまう32.03
克く32.46
ここ32.11
32.57
31.96
死ぬ32.49
32.09
有難い34.05
育て33.61
より32.31
身体32.49
31.29
疎む34.44
縋る33.77
感じ32.29
行く31.99
本当に32.34
31.48
常々34.44
はっ32.79
よね32.43
哭く32.05
自殺34.10
判る33.27
42.51
41.60
ではない42.28
知る42.11
のか41.74
42.05
主人公43.33
いえ42.75
41.60
のです42.21
感謝42.96
ない41.61
42.46
惣社43.37
43.24
42.90
無い42.25
つもり42.48
なので42.48
入る42.14
継ぐ43.64
51.96
51.64
赦す54.52
52.11
51.91
頂く53.21
られる51.68
しまった52.19
生き52.80

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